How to Be Less Socially Awkward
No one likes the feeling of sudden awareness that something you've just said or done is socially awkward.
That sense of realization that you've just said or done something that's going to seem odd, ususual or even downright weird to others around you...
What you do next can make the difference between creating great social connections between yourself and others or dwelling for hours in horrified shame and self recrimination.
Here's 10 quick and easy tips on how to be less socially awkward.
Realize Everyone Relates to This Whatever you've just said or done, absolutely everyone can relate to messing up and blurting out something odd, running out of things to say, stammering, blushing, standing in the wrong line, going through the wrong door, not knowing what others are talking about, feeling very out of place, wondering if their clothing is ok, feeling like their dance moves are looking very unusual, second guessing what they you just said in a business meeting, or feeling out of their element - and if they don't they are just not admitting the truth.
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Own it! It’s okay to be socially awkward. Realize how normal it is. It’s totally human. Some people even find it endearing. All of us have had moments where we said “You too!” in reply to a server saying “Enjoy your meal”.
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Let go of the need to shame yourself. With shame, you dwell upon and relive the moment over and over again. Many people have a deep seated tendency to criticize themselves. Letting go of a deep seated habit of shaming yourself is not easy - but it’s a skill that can be learned and practiced.
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See the humour and draw people to you! A moment of humour that actually draws others to us. People are often drawn to those who can laugh for a moment at themselves when caught doing something very human - we can all relate to socially awkward moments.
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Ditch perfectionism! Do you hold yourself to a rigid set of high expectations that must always be met? Striving for excellence is great, but if taken too far it can be a prison that never allows us to take a risk, learn or be vulnerable.
Don't Dwell On It. Accept & let it go. Once you've felt that feeling of unease or social awkwardness, acknowledge it to yourself, and move on. Let it go. It happened, it's normal, it's all okay.
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See life as a learning process. We are all learning. Social skills are learned too and there are ways to learn skills you may have missed learning as a child. If you had a sheltered life or missed out on important socialization activities early in life, it's not surprising that you may not feel comfortable or might feel awkward in social situations. There are many ways to catch up on these social skills as an adult. Tip: Be sure to find a program that covers theory but even more importantly helps you step by step in practicing and developing skills. You want to exerience new results, not just more knowledge.
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Deliberately Mess Up - and see what happens - it’s not what you’d think! In treating social anxiety we often set up shame destroying exercises where we deliberately say goofy socially awkward things or perhaps go out with a stained shirt as a way to get over the fear of what might happen. It’s never as bad as we imagined and we often find that most people don’t notice.
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Realize that most people don’t notice. Most people are so wrapped up in their own world that they don’t really notice or dwell on what others say or do.
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Learn to love yourself - flaws and all. No one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. Learn to enjoy your "flaws" as overdone strengths. See the beauty in who you are.
