Social Anxiety And Fear of Judgment

They will see me and find out the truth - that I'm not good enough

It's the worst!  Feeling that everyone is watching my every move, and that soon enough they will draw the obvious conclusion - I'm just not good enough. It will be like a big red flag I'm waving that announces to the world "this person is an inferior being". The red flag is the way I walk, the way I can't make eye contact, the way I stumble over my words or can't think of anything at all to say, and how my face burns red at seemingly random times.

Ethan is 25 years old but feels like he has been living a hundred years in fear of being discovered. He feels like he has a horrible secret that needs to stay a secret, needs to be protected at all cost. He isn't sure exactly what that secret is though. It's just a general feeling that he is flawed in some fundamental way that would mean that no one could like him, no one would want to be around him , work with him or be friends wth him.

Ethan says he has no friends. Unless you count the random online people he games with. People from all over the world, different ones each time, that he plays with and talks to as they fight a mission on the same team. He prefers to stay in his room online. Doesn't like to come out unless he has to. Maybe for food. He doesn't even like to be with his brothers or his cousins, feeling too different from his confident, loud, outspoken relatives.

Where did Ethan get this idea that he was no good? Sometimes all it takes is one particular incident at a vulnerable time in growth and development. Being picked last for a sports team, not invited to a party, teased or bullied in front of others. Ethan remembers vomiting on his desk in grade 3. Feeling so sick was bad enough but worse was the kids the next day - "Stay away from gross Ethan he will puke on you."

Ethan hung his head in humiliation.

Those mean kids soon moved on to tease someone else, but Ethan remembers the incident vividly to this day. This incident had lasting impact on Ethan and affected his deep-seated beliefs about himself and about people for the rest of his life. He found relief in avoiding situations that required interactions with others, preferring the calm of being alone to the excessive anxiety that seemed to accompany most social experiences.

Social fears continue to affect Ethan as a adult.

Ethan is dreadfully lonely, but has given up the idea of having a social life a long time ago. It's the fear of judgment that holds him back. He feels like a social misfit. He is sure that not much about him is very interesting. He often thinks he is probably repulsive to to others. Ethan is super harsh on himself, and expects others will judge him just as harshly.

Ethan has his whole life ahead of him, but he expects it will be a life of pain and loneliness.

He has learned to reduce the anticipated pain of being around other people by avoiding them as much as he can, thereby sewing the seeds of social anxiety.

Social anxiety grows strong from the combination of fear of social judgment and social avoidance - avoiding social situations to avoid the anticipated pain - just makes the fear grow stronger.

But a change is coming in the winds, Ethan is about to learn something new.

Find out how Ethan gets help in an unexpected way and changes his life......

Stay tuned to find out how Ethan's life takes a surprising turn, and he breaks free from the fear of judgment, and from social anxiety.