"Christmas Ruined by Social Anxiety"

Social anxiety ruined an annual family Christmas dinner.

Read the full story below and see if you can relate.

Can you find the common SA pattern that's at the root of this all too painful holiday scenario?

The Holiday Dinner “Fail”

As my readers know, I’m a counsellor and coach who helps people overcome social anxiety. Occasionally I feature and deconstruct real life social anxiety situations posted on public forums as a way to help people learn how to break free from social anxiety.

This year a poster on reddit described a family holiday dinner that maybe you too can relate to.

Here’s a screen shot of the original post on reddit (the link to the original post can be found below).

First I want to thank the original forum poster for so openly sharing their experience, thoughts and feelings. That takes courage and a willingness to self-reflect – which are two of the keys to overcome social anxiety.

Getting over social anxiety is a journey that begins with understanding the mechanisms of social anxiety and how it gains a grip on your life.

Let's take a look at this post and try to understand what's happening......

I’ve highlighted parts of this post that give important big clues to the classic ways that social anxiety stealthily creeps in.

Here's what I heard the reddit forum poster say. Do you agree?

• I dread family dinners during the holidays.
• I often leave early because I feel anxious.
• I try to set reasonable goals for myself to socialize at these dinners and try not to leave early.
• I frequently analyze my conversational and social “performance” and am quite self critical. My self criticism has the effect of making me feel even more anxious, awkward and inadequate.
• When I do leave the family gathering early I feel instant relief because it eliminates the pressure that has been building inside me.
• When I leave early I also feel guilty and worry about how my family perceives me.
• I criticize myself for always leaving the dinners early and this makes me feel depressed, isolated, lonely and hopeless.

Let's make this into a learning experience. Think about your answers to the following questions. You might even write them down.

Do you relate to any of the above statements?

What consistent patterns in behavior and emotion can you see?

Can you detect the ways that social anxiety stealthily creeps in and sabotages the annual family dinner?

What is the one most important strategy that will stop social anxiety in it’s tracks?

Tune in tomorrow for part 2 for answers, insights, and discussion to help you move forward and away from social anxiety.

See the original reddit post here