How Social Anxiety Ruined the Holiday
Holiday Dinner “Fail” Deconstructed
Do you dread busy family get-togethers during the holiday season, knowing that you'll need to be around a large group of people, probably feel forced to make small talk, and feel awkward the whole time?
If you do, you're not alone!
Many people with social anxiety have mixed feelings about holiday celebrations. A recent poster on reddit told a story that many others could relate to.
What things did you notice that allowed social anxiety to derail the family dinner celebration?
You probably noticed that:
- the poster engaged in almost continuous self-assessment and self-criticism
- they were overly concerned about how they were being judged or perceived by others
- they made assumptions about what others were thinking about them, which were all negative
- they felt their emotional pressure and anxiety increase the longer they stayed
- they noticed that their feelings of anxiety got worse as a result of their own self-criticism and negative assumptions of what others were thinking
- they felt a rush of relief when they left the party
Getting over social anxiety is a journey that begins with understanding the mechanisms of social anxiety and how it gains a grip on your life.
Social anxiety grows stronger when we:
- Focus mostly on ourselves rather than on what is going on around us
- Engage in harsh judgement and critical-self assessment
- Make negative assumptions about what others are thinking
- Care way too much about what others think
Do you do any of the above?
If you are like most people with social anxiety, you will find you do most of these things really frequently.
If you could pick one of these to work on and eliminate it, which one do you think would make the most change in your life?
Can you detect the ways that social anxiety stealthily creeps in and sabotages speical events in your life?
What is your one most important strategy that could stop social anxiety in it’s tracks?
***See part 1 for the complete story of the Christmas family dinner ruined by social anxiety.